I got this essay in a forum and it was very funny so enjoy it..
Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got child.] He is same like God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man.
But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.
His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the
milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any such
attachment ]
What can it do? Various butter, cream, curd, why
and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.
His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
species.Also his other motion.. [from the backyard] is much
useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat
cakes[like Pizza ] , in hand , and drying in the sun.
Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding
after eating.
Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are
situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in
the grass.
His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards.
He has got tails also, situated in the backyard,
but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the
other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it.The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch.
So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts . His eyes and nose are like his other
relatives.
This is the cow.......
We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.and is now an IAS, is bihar in somewhere..sorry somewhere in Bihar
Monday, November 19, 2007
Paris Hilton is coming to town!
To the tune of "Santa Clause is coming to town"
She'll sleep with a girl, she'll sleep with a guy.
She'll make you hurl I'm tellin you why.
Paris Hilton's Coming to town.
She'll take off from the "Simple Life".
She'll tape you both when you sleep.
You won't want her to be your wife.
Cause man can she be cheap.
Oh,She'll sleep with a girl, she'll sleep with a guy.
She'll make you hurl I'm tellin you why.
Paris Hilton's coming to town
She's takin your friends, and doin them twice.
You better believe she's setting a price.
Paris Hilton's Coming.
Boy, is Paris Cumming.
Paris Hilton's Coming to town!
Souce : masalafourm
She'll sleep with a girl, she'll sleep with a guy.
She'll make you hurl I'm tellin you why.
Paris Hilton's Coming to town.
She'll take off from the "Simple Life".
She'll tape you both when you sleep.
You won't want her to be your wife.
Cause man can she be cheap.
Oh,She'll sleep with a girl, she'll sleep with a guy.
She'll make you hurl I'm tellin you why.
Paris Hilton's coming to town
She's takin your friends, and doin them twice.
You better believe she's setting a price.
Paris Hilton's Coming.
Boy, is Paris Cumming.
Paris Hilton's Coming to town!
Souce : masalafourm
Degrees of Girls
B.A : Beautiful Angel
B.E. : Beautiful Eyes
B.Sc : Beautiful Structure
B.L. : Beautiful Lips
B.Com : Beautiful Completely
M.B.A. : Married but Available
B.E. : Beautiful Eyes
B.Sc : Beautiful Structure
B.L. : Beautiful Lips
B.Com : Beautiful Completely
M.B.A. : Married but Available
Titanic Indian version
- If the Titanic was made in India:
- 10. There would be 10 times as many people on the ship.
- 9. There has to be a song with a girl wearing a white dress, singing in the rain.
- 8. By the end of the movie he finds his mom, dad, sister and brother.
- 7. It's seven and half-hours long.
- 6. The movie would be called "Doobta Hua Pyar".
- 5. Kate Winslet played by Madhuri Dixit, and Leonard Di' Caprio played by Salman Khan.
- 4. The boat would sink, because there are too many people on it.
- 3. None of the people would float for long cause of the saris.
- 2. They would be serving mango fruity on the boat.
- 1. Wait a minute it was an Indian movie if you think about it.
AND
Can you imagine how many times we would hear "Bachaoooo"!!!
PS: The hero, heroine, his mom, dad, sister and brother will float in the cold water for days and yet survive. The villain will drown in the first drops of water.You've been programming too long when
When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.
When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.
When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"
When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.
When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.
When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.
When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed,then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.
When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.
When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"
When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.
When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.
When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.
When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.
Soft and Hard
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They
are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as
your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They
are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as
your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Friendship Jokes
True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves... they are scattered everywhere.
FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but how U UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!!
FriEndSHiP iS A PRiCeLeSs GiFt tHaT cAn'T Be BoUgHt Or SoLd, BuT To Have An UnDeRsTaNdiNg FriEnd iS FaR MoRe WoRtH tHaN GoLd~!
If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me, come to me... If you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!
FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it could be, but is on how DEEP the ROOTS HAVE GROWN...
Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!
A good friend is like a computer; me 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!
In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME & beyond DISTANCE!
I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels but I call them my best friends.
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.
The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you.
I met U as a stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world stands, our friendship nv ends. All friends nv split N even if they do they will meet again.
I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realised tat loving a friend is even better, we lose ppl we love but we never lose true friends.
EveRyDay I seE LoTs oF StRangErS PasSiNg By mE, ThiS mAkeS mE reAlisED tHat, LifE woUlD be BORING, WiThoUt A FriEnD LiKE U...
DuRiNg OuR FrIeNdShIp, ThErE wIlL B TiMeS U wOn't SeE Me BeSiDe U, DuN ThInK I LeFt U BeHiNd, I JuSt ChOsE To WaLk BeHiNd U So I CaN CaTcH U WhEn U Fall...
FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but how U UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go but how U hold oN!!!
FriEndSHiP iS A PRiCeLeSs GiFt tHaT cAn'T Be BoUgHt Or SoLd, BuT To Have An UnDeRsTaNdiNg FriEnd iS FaR MoRe WoRtH tHaN GoLd~!
If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me, come to me... If you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!
FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it could be, but is on how DEEP the ROOTS HAVE GROWN...
Without humor, life sux. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!
A good friend is like a computer; me 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2 opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!
In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME & beyond DISTANCE!
I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels but I call them my best friends.
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.
The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you.
I met U as a stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world stands, our friendship nv ends. All friends nv split N even if they do they will meet again.
I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realised tat loving a friend is even better, we lose ppl we love but we never lose true friends.
EveRyDay I seE LoTs oF StRangErS PasSiNg By mE, ThiS mAkeS mE reAlisED tHat, LifE woUlD be BORING, WiThoUt A FriEnD LiKE U...
DuRiNg OuR FrIeNdShIp, ThErE wIlL B TiMeS U wOn't SeE Me BeSiDe U, DuN ThInK I LeFt U BeHiNd, I JuSt ChOsE To WaLk BeHiNd U So I CaN CaTcH U WhEn U Fall...
MAKING LOVE |
| After making love, wat r u tryin to say? I love u? Wrong! 1 more time? Wrong. U r so pretty?Wrong. I'm so tired? Wrong! The answer is tissue...tissue...plsss!!! |
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